“You’re Not the Boss of Me!” How to Trust Your Own Instincts on Your Spiritual Path

Awakening and healing are a lot like having a baby.  Everyone wants to tell you exactly how to do it, yet you really have to listen to yourself, take what others say with some skepticism and spaciousness and allow the emerging being within you do its thing, have its experience and guide you.  It might be fast, slow, painful, orgasmic or somehow all of the above and definitely messy, but it is yours.  A helping hand, a few guiding words of encouragement, some valuable techniques can be extremely helpful.  Occasionally you will need a radical intervention.  Sometimes those interventions are too soon, unnecessary or poorly executed.

There is no one way to do this.  To awaken, to heal is a path all your own.  It often requires more patience, love compassion and space than we have ever given to anything before.

Do not let others dictate your path of awakening and healing.

Many times I have had teachers and mentors who so enthusiastically evangelized their method, process or system above all others as the right, best, fastest way to heal or grow that I have seen myself in my desire to be the best (I know, so much ego), to get it right, to master it, show up, commit, fully understand the methodology, the tradition or system to my eventual detriment.

Parts of the teachings and concepts have been valuable tools or information, yet in my persistent passionate participation, I have often found myself in pain, exhaustion, injury, disillusionment, and suffering.  Occasionally veering wildly off course or finding myself heavily invested in something that I really just want to get out of at all costs.

I know a lot of this speaks to one of my life lessons not to push so hard, slow down, trust and listen to myself and my guides and stand for myself no matter what.  This also requires me to confront my shadow of wanting to be seen and appreciated in my proficiency and study.

I have always liked to experience things fully.  I have operated full force under the banner of ‘go hard or go home’, I suppose drawing for my fairly hardcore Texas upbringing in a highly competitive sports home.  I have always pushed myself to my limits and often overdone life to my detriment.  In my 20’s this looked like putting myself in danger with drugs, alcohol, and sex while working so hard as an actor, taking on roles in which my physical body was risked doing stunts and fight scenes and doing ‘research’ which actually put my life in danger.  Some of these jobs left me with lifelong injuries and pain.

Once I started on my own path of healing and awakening, it often meant overdoing it in other’s modalities and practices, pushing my spiritual and physical limits in other ways.  It is not that I didn’t get a lot out of these experiences and teachings, but in some cases, I simply exhausted my body and created energetic deviations in my system in pursuit of mastery at other’s teachings.

In one workshop weekend learning a meditation and mantra practice, I met a woman who was exhibiting the most profound channeling I had ever witnessed.  This was early on for me and it was so touching and exciting to see someone so elegantly express what was still so chaotically expressing through me.  She gave me some of the best advice that I have, at times, forgotten:

“Sure, take classes and learn from others, but do not let them train out of you what you already are.”

The longer I guide the less I desire to speak in absolutes, to create the conditions in which someone does not feel the freedom to be completely authentic and personally led and instead relying on others to know themselves and their own healing gifts.

I find myself feeling often more angered by the psychics, astrologers, and other seers and readers who tell people things they then hold onto so tightly that they can see no other way of being, who present information in a way that does not empower or leave room for personal exploration and growth.

I ask myself the question of how do I teach specific practices and systems and channel through messages while doing so in a way that actually encourages people to tap into their own inner knowing, guidance, and awareness. Because I know things, I bring things through and I am fucking certain about a lot of things (in the most humble way possible of course).

I also find myself desiring and actually allowing myself to have the simple pleasures that make life worth living instead of pushing myself to the limit to prove to others that their system, technique or lineage really works.

I just don’t have the time or the energy to do that shit anymore.  I will still study hard, give of myself and push myself toward growth, but I also hope to bathe myself in a deeper spring of compassion, ease and simplicity than ever before, to allow my unfolding and the unfolding of those I support to happen with a level of grace, radical self-preserving presence and inner guidance that I see is so often missing in many paths.

As healers and lightworkers, I believe we have a responsibility to share what we know, to develop and study systems that work and support people.  This has been my focus and commitment for many years.  Yet, I also see that these structures and systems must have room to breathe and grow for each one utilizing them.  The people that I work with have their own special skills, frequencies and lifetimes of training and personal development that simply needs to be activated and allowed to emerge.

In the end, I believe what we do with our lives should feel good.  It should feel supportive, nurturing and dare I say… kind.  There might be uncomfortable times of training, deep dives into the shadow, the very real experience of dealing with our sabotaging nature in relation to discipline and devotion, but the overall path that I want to choose is one of expansive presence to my own self and my own expression of magic.  This is what I am devoted to bringing out in others.

 

9 ways that you can follow your instincts on your spiritual path

  1. Listen to your body.  Not all bodies are meant to do the same things at the same rate of development.  I have met people who have blown out knees from a Yoga teacher standing on their legs and so many with other pulled muscles, torn tendons and injured joints from being pushed too far too fast or made to hold physical postures for extended periods of time.
  2. Feel into your past and your energy.  Especially in terms of adrenal fatigue.  It is real and those that come from high stress or trauma can be showing up with seriously depleted systems that need more rest and nurturing than some teachers suggest.  Rest is vital for this path.
  3. Drop the comparison game.  So many of us are in comparison and competition in everything that we do.  It is how we were taught to be as children.  Especially when we compare ourselves to those that have been on the path for a long time we risk hurting ourselves in some way.
  4. Trust your gut.  If something feels wrong, stop.  If you have come from an abusive past, acknowledge that you gut instinct might not always show up for you, in which case, even more self-inquiry and space might be needed for you to feel what is right for you.
  5. Be willing to ask questions and speak up for yourself.  If you are studying with someone that does not allow this, or puts you down, shames you or does this to others this is a huge red flag.
  6. Be willing to be alone.  The best way to get a good feel on if something is right is sometimes to take some space from it.  Be willing to slow down, be alone and listen deeply for your own internal guidance.
  7. If someone is claiming to have the only way, the only path step back… there are many ways to the top of the mountain.
  8. Remember that you are a sovereign being.  You hold the keys to your path.  Your teachers, guides and mentors should be ones who open handedly allow for that.
  9. You got this.  You are whole.  You are capable.  You are a gift to the world.  Shine your unique light and you will allow others to shine theirs.  In this, we all heal.

If this resonates with you, join me for my next free Masterclass: You Are a Unique Healer: How to Embrace Your Authentic Mastery.

9 Ways To Not Feel Like a Fraud

We see all of the beauty and success on Instagram and Facebook and we assume that everyone always has their shit together and is just killing it. In this work (i.e. coaching, healing, channeling, facilitating), you will, again and again, hit up against various ways to feel like a fraud and a fake. And in the world of healing and coaching: shit goes wrong. We over-invest, clients drop out of programs, things fail, we get sick, we need to continually keep adding more clients to our programs and private sessions, etc., etc.

What Makes us Feel Like a ‘Fraud’?

Just before and after big pushes and expansions (big retreats, larger programs, charging more, doing something new), we often rubberband back into a familiar form of despair and the feeling that we might not do so good again, or people didn’t really get that much from it, or we aren’t really qualified or good enough to do this new thing.

Strangers criticize us on the internet when we put out our most heartfelt posts and blogs. There are so many ways that we can fall, once again, into this place of “not good enough, I’m a fraud, I’m a failure.” It is these moments when we think we could just quit it all and go to work in a cat cafe pouring lattes for kittens.

 

Yes. This is actually ‘a thing.’

So how do we avoid giving up?

Every Healer Needs to Know These 9 Simple Truths:

1. You have to have that one person.  One person that you can call and who will listen to you cry and not judge you because you are supposed to have all of your shit together.  Someone who will remind you of who you are, your talent, your mission, and your heart. They see you and know you and are able to do for you what you are often doing for others.

2.  Know that everyone goes through this. You aren’t alone. Everyone fails. Everyone has a hard time with money. Often those who seem so put together from the outside are in just as much of a struggle as anyone else. Healers and others focused on service, are often burdened with financial struggles -sometimes even more than other entrepreneurs.

3.  Keep in mind that you are actively swimming upstream. You are trying help raise the consciousness of the planet, guide people through healing themselves, expanding their awareness and living more free, joy-filled and heart-centered lives. All in a global structure which does not support these things. Schools, the financial systems, food, work and even relationships are all designed to keep people small, under control and barely getting by to fuel industries of pharmaceuticals, alcohol, porn, and shopping. Even not doing much you are still swimming upstream and that can be exhausting in and of itself.

4.  Honor that you are at the same time working on yourself. You are expanding, growing, healing, learning and mastering yourself. This can be uplifting but can also send us into healing crisis, overwhelm and sudden realizations that big things have got to change – fast. New gifts and abilities are coming online and there is more need for time integrating spiritual practices and experiences.

5.  Realize that you are grounding Spirit to Earth. You are actively asking spiritual concepts and awareness to come through you to Earth and be made manifest in a way that people can understand, purchase, take in and integrate. Sometimes these messages are just known as feeling states that must be translated into human language. Sometimes they are elaborate practices, rituals and modalities that must then be tested, practiced and taken through a process of the best ways to share and teach them to others. This is what it means to truly be a spiritual warrior, to not be only in the upper realms but grounding it back down into the tangible form.

6.  Accept that you are possibly doing something completely new. It’s pretty hard to get a certification in a channeled work that you are bringing through. It is hard to stand up and say with conviction, “This is right” when it hasn’t come from a master teacher, mentor or lineage. You are a change maker and a thought leader who is bringing new energies and ways of doing things to the planet and you have to figure out not only how to bring them, but how to explain why they are important, what people will get for them, and why they should invest. These are probably things people aren’t even aware they are in need of, so add another level of explanation to the masses beyond just doing the work.

7.  Know that you are actively creating.  Creation takes energy.  Not resting and honoring the ebb and flow of creative process can leave you feeling down when things seem to dry up for a spell so that you can go inward, work on yourself, rest or play in the human world.

8.  See yourself as the Alchemist. You are doing Alchemy, which means this is a process of transformation. And, not all phases are comfortable or fun. Sometimes you get stuck, sometimes things take longer than you would like. You are learning the processes as you are going along.  Your teachings and wisdom often come from your own learned experiences, and so it requires going into the underworld of fear, doubt, shame, and failure in order to properly teach or facilitate.

9.  Give yourself a ton of credit for running a business in the midst of all of this stuff! Meaning: bills, taxes, bookkeeping, managing a team, marketing, planning, doing, doing, doing. Often these tasks are not in your zone of genius in order to make a living at the only thing that you could possibly do.

Because, let’s face it, the minute you start thinking about working in the cat cafe, you smile, think, “Yes! That would be amazing!” and then come back to center and admit that you were designed to bring this very specific special medicine and contribution to the planet, so you jump back in and keep on swimming.

You are amazing!  Keep on swimming!

Inspired by the latest Light Warrior group call.  Join us at the next retreat!
Special thanks to Michelle Hawk for always being the one I call when this is coming up for me.

Katherine Bird, Spiritual Coach

Spiritual Coaches: Why Your Energy is Everything

There are a lot of techniques available for spiritual life coaches and energy workers. From clearing beliefs, working on mindset, inner child work, trauma release and so many more. These are all effective, but the field you hold is often the thing that has the greatest impact and gets the least amount of attention in training programs. This is why opening your channel and shifting your vibration is the most important training you can do as a coach.

Read: What is Open Your Channel

You see, people shift a lot of times based on energetics. They often do not even know why they hire a spiritual life coach.  The reason is that this is an energetic choice based on many factors such as the field they can hold, the container they create and their way of being. Where do you stand, energetically?

How Your Vibration Affects Others

Because of the way the bio-field of the body works, it tunes to the frequency that it’s around.  If you have a high frequency, operating from openness, heart centeredness, authenticity, compassion and love, you will bring these qualities to your work and the people you work with will feel it.  If you are working to increase your vibration, ground your energy, stay clear of other’s shit, cultivate energy and become more aware of your field and energetic capabilities, you will naturally bring these aspects to your work.

Just by being in contact with you, people will start to shift automatically.  They will be able to go into deeper and deeper layers of personal work and access parts of themselves they did not have awareness of before.  They will feel safe and open in ways that they could not otherwise, just from coming in contact with concepts or content.  This is the result of your field.

You can have the best tools and techniques in the world but your frequency and vibration are a huge part of what determines the outcome of your work.

As coaches, you realize you have to work on yourself. You know that doing the work, going into your darkest places, facing your ego and inner demons and clearing your old beliefs is valuable.  Wouldn’t it also make sense to work just as hard to understand the energetic and spiritual aspects of your own system and its effect on your clients, or others?

I see coaches and others who struggle with this all of the time. They take on other’s energy. They don’t understand the function of their own system and they don’t utilize the tools and techniques to keep opening and upgrading the aspects of their being. Doing so will give them more and more access to spiritual information and a higher energetic, which will help their clients exponentially.

Where are you, Energetically?

It’s all energetic. You can’t shift a belief without shifting the energy. You can’t heal the inner child without working with the subtle realms. This is soul level work, tied into energetic and physical systems which all need to open and upgrade in order to see long-lasting change.

Are you interested in upgrading your system and understanding the concepts and practices it takes to have an open channel?

Join me for Open Your Channel