Being Spiritual Sucks – It’s Not What People Think

So many people want to be ‘spiritual’. Workshops to learn how to be intuitive, psychic and spiritually connected are all over. Ceremonies that open people up are happening all the time. 

People want to feel less alone, get spiritual downloads and have the information they receive lead them to more love, money and purpose. 

But, honestly, this path is not all about bright lights, chubby angels and everything feeling good. 

When you are open to spirits, when you are open psychically to the world you are open to more than just the ‘good stuff’. 

The unseen world is massive. Psychic information is not always easy to process. 

People want to have spiritual connection… until they realize that part of the job description is sometimes helping suffering souls to the other side. 

And that sometimes means seeing and feeling the pain and torment of spirits that have been trapped and learning how to effectively help them leave this plane of existence. 

People want to be energy healers… until they realize that part of the job description is sometimes feeling in your body the pain of another person and being present to a person’s darkest moments. 

We have been sold a strange bill of goods. The new age has made it seem like this path is angel cards and unicorn farts. It isn’t.  

It is often deep trips to the underworld. 

It is meeting with guides that scare the shit out of us. 

It is removing hooks and cords and dark, sticky tar. 

It is being flooded by the intense pain of a being who has been murdered or witnessing the past life of someone tortured and abused. 

And being centered, grounded and present enough to stand in that and do the work that needs to be done. 

When you are tuned in this way you are a beacon for this work. You decide at a certain point to be okay with the weirdness of it all and commit to service. 

That service will not always look or feel ‘good’. 

You will confront the darkest parts of yourself as you are schooled by your guides into the layers of the underworld. 

Through that, you become strong, effective and a true light. 

This work is needed. Yet so many push it away, trying to be ‘normal’.

Fuck that. You can master this service which is often uncomfortable. You can be safe inside of it all. And, imagine what a human you will be at the end.

So, if your spiritual, energetic development feels like it sucks sometimes… that’s okay. 

Part of the path. 

And it is totally worth it. 

What Does It Mean To Be Healed?

I am going to break down some considerations of what it means to be healed and some questions and practices that you can engage with right away to support your own path to understanding what it means to be healed.

Have you ever sat in the painful inquiry, “How can I have done so much work and still not be healed?!”

Have you had clients who struggle with the fact that they are still dealing with certain issues even after what feels like ‘forever’ processing them?

Have you ever doubted yourself, your tools or your own commitment to your work because of your own or other’s inability to move past a certain point?

I think that this is almost a more complicated topic in my work because most of the people that I serve are in some way a healer or coach or one focused on healing for many years for themselves and their clients.

Often anything less than complete reduction in all symptoms and a total and complete shift to a fully whole and functioning life in every aspect is seen as some sort of failure.

I see that people discount or even forget how much progress that they have made. There is little celebration of small victories.

The focus is primarily on what is not working, what is still the sticking point or the pain and the transformations, realizations and expansion are forgotten.

It is easy to focus on what is not working. It takes more effort to focus on what is working, what has progressed. Yet, this is where the full reprogramming occurs. This is the doorway in which we travel to full transformation.

This is a function of our brain and it’s wiring to focus on negativity because it is both an ancient orientation to stay safe and also a learned aspect of our being.

For example, if we can focus on danger and negativity, we will be more likely to get into shelter at dark avoiding predators. If we are able to focus fully on pain in our bodies, we will tend to treat it instead of letting it get infected.

And, as we grow we are taught that we must pay attention to what is wrong, the wrong answers on the test are marked in red and cause pain, shame and change. The right ones, we rarely think about again. In fact, a lot of people get shamed for getting things right when others struggle.

So, like I said, it takes a lot of conscious effort to recognize our progress and what we have done and take into account our process might be one that simply has some twists and turns as we learn, train and move through our emotions, energies and physical limitations.

Again, the question can be asked, “What does it mean to be healed?”

Honestly, this must be answered for each one of us as we go along and it will shift and change with the tides of your life.

Healed = Wholeness

You have probably heard that plenty of times.

If you want to see a cool video on healing, here is one from Chinese Medical Qi Gong Practitioners reducing a tumor in a patient. When I was shown this video, it was explained to me that they are chanting basically, “Already Done” and they are focused and imagining not that the patient is healing or the tumor is lessening but that it is “Already Done”. Full, complete, integrated and whole.

It is important for us as we go through our process to have this attitude. To see and imagine ourselves on a consistent basis as already whole, healed, complete and “Already Done.”

What might change if this was your mantra and meditation?

 

See if this practice helps:

Think of an issue that you have been dealing with.

First drop into your body. Feel yourself connected and receiving form the Earth and from Above.

Take some calming and deep breaths.

If this issue, pain, situation was completely healed, how would you feel?

What would you be doing?

Let the first things that come to you come out. Write them down. Imagine yourself feeling that way. Imagine yourself doing those things.

And, then… go do that. What will help you feel that way right now?

What can you do?

Before you start arguing with me about this one, just do the exercise.

And then.. you might argue.. “but, I have this pain, this issue so I can’t do the thing that I want”.

OK, maybe. Maybe your issue is that you broke your foot so you can’t go scuba diving like you want. But, maybe you can go to the seashore, you can go do something that will help sea life in some way, you can go float about in a bay.

You might be in really bad shape right now and all you can do is put on a recording of whales, lay in the bathtub and imagine to the very best of your ability that you are truly swimming about.

This will change your outlook. It will engage your muscles even through the power of imagination. The magical thing about us is that our brains don’t know the difference in what we are doing and what we are imagining. The imagination is a primary key into our healing.

All of the sudden more peace is found, more joy, more connection.

The body and soul start to heal themselves through this power of play and imagination instead of the ‘work’ that so many of us have become accustomed to as the path to healing.

Maybe you are depressed. If you consider, if you weren’t what would you be doing…and that might be making art. You might then come up with a lot of reasons why you can’t make art. Shift that to find some small way to engage with art. It might be just coloring, or building a beautiful altar or area in your home. It might be using materials from nature to make a mandala.

Because, what is healed? It is finding our way under the emotional, energetic issues that are holding us and manifesting in our bodies. It is finding a place of peace, joy and presence despite our issues, pain or struggles. It is moving forward, step by step acknowledging the profound shifts that we have already gone through, celebrating the small victories and leaning into the uncomfortable places.

I believe it is when we are able to be devoted to our practices, our intuition, our boundaries and our gifts. Because, you can go to one of those Medical Qi Gong Doctors, have them reduce your tumor, but if you are not making life changes, processing old emotions, coming into higher alignment with your truths and virtues, the healing has not really happened and disease will slowly come back.

We will all have pain, illness and struggle. Often, it is how we engage with these struggles that makes all the difference. They are our teachers. They ask us to show up brighter, more devoted, more caring and more compassionate to ourselves and others.

We are all healing, but we are also already whole. Be with your wholeness and allow it to inspire your actions.

If you are interested in this discussion of what is healing and how can we be of the highest service in healing, I hope you will join me for The Healer’s Masterclass Series starting Sept 12th. Sign Up For Free

“You’re Not the Boss of Me!” How to Trust Your Own Instincts on Your Spiritual Path

Awakening and healing are a lot like having a baby.  Everyone wants to tell you exactly how to do it, yet you really have to listen to yourself, take what others say with some skepticism and spaciousness and allow the emerging being within you do its thing, have its experience and guide you.  It might be fast, slow, painful, orgasmic or somehow all of the above and definitely messy, but it is yours.  A helping hand, a few guiding words of encouragement, some valuable techniques can be extremely helpful.  Occasionally you will need a radical intervention.  Sometimes those interventions are too soon, unnecessary or poorly executed.

There is no one way to do this.  To awaken, to heal is a path all your own.  It often requires more patience, love compassion and space than we have ever given to anything before.

Do not let others dictate your path of awakening and healing.

Many times I have had teachers and mentors who so enthusiastically evangelized their method, process or system above all others as the right, best, fastest way to heal or grow that I have seen myself in my desire to be the best (I know, so much ego), to get it right, to master it, show up, commit, fully understand the methodology, the tradition or system to my eventual detriment.

Parts of the teachings and concepts have been valuable tools or information, yet in my persistent passionate participation, I have often found myself in pain, exhaustion, injury, disillusionment, and suffering.  Occasionally veering wildly off course or finding myself heavily invested in something that I really just want to get out of at all costs.

I know a lot of this speaks to one of my life lessons not to push so hard, slow down, trust and listen to myself and my guides and stand for myself no matter what.  This also requires me to confront my shadow of wanting to be seen and appreciated in my proficiency and study.

I have always liked to experience things fully.  I have operated full force under the banner of ‘go hard or go home’, I suppose drawing for my fairly hardcore Texas upbringing in a highly competitive sports home.  I have always pushed myself to my limits and often overdone life to my detriment.  In my 20’s this looked like putting myself in danger with drugs, alcohol, and sex while working so hard as an actor, taking on roles in which my physical body was risked doing stunts and fight scenes and doing ‘research’ which actually put my life in danger.  Some of these jobs left me with lifelong injuries and pain.

Once I started on my own path of healing and awakening, it often meant overdoing it in other’s modalities and practices, pushing my spiritual and physical limits in other ways.  It is not that I didn’t get a lot out of these experiences and teachings, but in some cases, I simply exhausted my body and created energetic deviations in my system in pursuit of mastery at other’s teachings.

In one workshop weekend learning a meditation and mantra practice, I met a woman who was exhibiting the most profound channeling I had ever witnessed.  This was early on for me and it was so touching and exciting to see someone so elegantly express what was still so chaotically expressing through me.  She gave me some of the best advice that I have, at times, forgotten:

“Sure, take classes and learn from others, but do not let them train out of you what you already are.”

The longer I guide the less I desire to speak in absolutes, to create the conditions in which someone does not feel the freedom to be completely authentic and personally led and instead relying on others to know themselves and their own healing gifts.

I find myself feeling often more angered by the psychics, astrologers, and other seers and readers who tell people things they then hold onto so tightly that they can see no other way of being, who present information in a way that does not empower or leave room for personal exploration and growth.

I ask myself the question of how do I teach specific practices and systems and channel through messages while doing so in a way that actually encourages people to tap into their own inner knowing, guidance, and awareness. Because I know things, I bring things through and I am fucking certain about a lot of things (in the most humble way possible of course).

I also find myself desiring and actually allowing myself to have the simple pleasures that make life worth living instead of pushing myself to the limit to prove to others that their system, technique or lineage really works.

I just don’t have the time or the energy to do that shit anymore.  I will still study hard, give of myself and push myself toward growth, but I also hope to bathe myself in a deeper spring of compassion, ease and simplicity than ever before, to allow my unfolding and the unfolding of those I support to happen with a level of grace, radical self-preserving presence and inner guidance that I see is so often missing in many paths.

As healers and lightworkers, I believe we have a responsibility to share what we know, to develop and study systems that work and support people.  This has been my focus and commitment for many years.  Yet, I also see that these structures and systems must have room to breathe and grow for each one utilizing them.  The people that I work with have their own special skills, frequencies and lifetimes of training and personal development that simply needs to be activated and allowed to emerge.

In the end, I believe what we do with our lives should feel good.  It should feel supportive, nurturing and dare I say… kind.  There might be uncomfortable times of training, deep dives into the shadow, the very real experience of dealing with our sabotaging nature in relation to discipline and devotion, but the overall path that I want to choose is one of expansive presence to my own self and my own expression of magic.  This is what I am devoted to bringing out in others.

 

9 ways that you can follow your instincts on your spiritual path

  1. Listen to your body.  Not all bodies are meant to do the same things at the same rate of development.  I have met people who have blown out knees from a Yoga teacher standing on their legs and so many with other pulled muscles, torn tendons and injured joints from being pushed too far too fast or made to hold physical postures for extended periods of time.
  2. Feel into your past and your energy.  Especially in terms of adrenal fatigue.  It is real and those that come from high stress or trauma can be showing up with seriously depleted systems that need more rest and nurturing than some teachers suggest.  Rest is vital for this path.
  3. Drop the comparison game.  So many of us are in comparison and competition in everything that we do.  It is how we were taught to be as children.  Especially when we compare ourselves to those that have been on the path for a long time we risk hurting ourselves in some way.
  4. Trust your gut.  If something feels wrong, stop.  If you have come from an abusive past, acknowledge that you gut instinct might not always show up for you, in which case, even more self-inquiry and space might be needed for you to feel what is right for you.
  5. Be willing to ask questions and speak up for yourself.  If you are studying with someone that does not allow this, or puts you down, shames you or does this to others this is a huge red flag.
  6. Be willing to be alone.  The best way to get a good feel on if something is right is sometimes to take some space from it.  Be willing to slow down, be alone and listen deeply for your own internal guidance.
  7. If someone is claiming to have the only way, the only path step back… there are many ways to the top of the mountain.
  8. Remember that you are a sovereign being.  You hold the keys to your path.  Your teachers, guides and mentors should be ones who open handedly allow for that.
  9. You got this.  You are whole.  You are capable.  You are a gift to the world.  Shine your unique light and you will allow others to shine theirs.  In this, we all heal.

If this resonates with you, join me for my next free Masterclass: Join me for The Healers Masterclass.

9 Ways To Not Feel Like a Fraud

We see all of the beauty and success on Instagram and Facebook and we assume that everyone always has their shit together and is just killing it. In this work (i.e. coaching, healing, channeling, facilitating), you will, again and again, hit up against various ways to feel like a fraud and a fake. And in the world of healing and coaching: shit goes wrong. We over-invest, clients drop out of programs, things fail, we get sick, we need to continually keep adding more clients to our programs and private sessions, etc., etc.

What Makes us Feel Like a ‘Fraud’?

Just before and after big pushes and expansions (big retreats, larger programs, charging more, doing something new), we often rubberband back into a familiar form of despair and the feeling that we might not do so good again, or people didn’t really get that much from it, or we aren’t really qualified or good enough to do this new thing.

Strangers criticize us on the internet when we put out our most heartfelt posts and blogs. There are so many ways that we can fall, once again, into this place of “not good enough, I’m a fraud, I’m a failure.” It is these moments when we think we could just quit it all and go to work in a cat cafe pouring lattes for kittens.

 

Yes. This is actually ‘a thing.’

So how do we avoid giving up?

Every Healer Needs to Know These 9 Simple Truths:

1. You have to have that one person.  One person that you can call and who will listen to you cry and not judge you because you are supposed to have all of your shit together.  Someone who will remind you of who you are, your talent, your mission, and your heart. They see you and know you and are able to do for you what you are often doing for others.

2.  Know that everyone goes through this. You aren’t alone. Everyone fails. Everyone has a hard time with money. Often those who seem so put together from the outside are in just as much of a struggle as anyone else. Healers and others focused on service, are often burdened with financial struggles -sometimes even more than other entrepreneurs.

3.  Keep in mind that you are actively swimming upstream. You are trying help raise the consciousness of the planet, guide people through healing themselves, expanding their awareness and living more free, joy-filled and heart-centered lives. All in a global structure which does not support these things. Schools, the financial systems, food, work and even relationships are all designed to keep people small, under control and barely getting by to fuel industries of pharmaceuticals, alcohol, porn, and shopping. Even not doing much you are still swimming upstream and that can be exhausting in and of itself.

4.  Honor that you are at the same time working on yourself. You are expanding, growing, healing, learning and mastering yourself. This can be uplifting but can also send us into healing crisis, overwhelm and sudden realizations that big things have got to change – fast. New gifts and abilities are coming online and there is more need for time integrating spiritual practices and experiences.

5.  Realize that you are grounding Spirit to Earth. You are actively asking spiritual concepts and awareness to come through you to Earth and be made manifest in a way that people can understand, purchase, take in and integrate. Sometimes these messages are just known as feeling states that must be translated into human language. Sometimes they are elaborate practices, rituals and modalities that must then be tested, practiced and taken through a process of the best ways to share and teach them to others. This is what it means to truly be a spiritual warrior, to not be only in the upper realms but grounding it back down into the tangible form.

6.  Accept that you are possibly doing something completely new. It’s pretty hard to get a certification in a channeled work that you are bringing through. It is hard to stand up and say with conviction, “This is right” when it hasn’t come from a master teacher, mentor or lineage. You are a change maker and a thought leader who is bringing new energies and ways of doing things to the planet and you have to figure out not only how to bring them, but how to explain why they are important, what people will get for them, and why they should invest. These are probably things people aren’t even aware they are in need of, so add another level of explanation to the masses beyond just doing the work.

7.  Know that you are actively creating.  Creation takes energy.  Not resting and honoring the ebb and flow of creative process can leave you feeling down when things seem to dry up for a spell so that you can go inward, work on yourself, rest or play in the human world.

8.  See yourself as the Alchemist. You are doing Alchemy, which means this is a process of transformation. And, not all phases are comfortable or fun. Sometimes you get stuck, sometimes things take longer than you would like. You are learning the processes as you are going along.  Your teachings and wisdom often come from your own learned experiences, and so it requires going into the underworld of fear, doubt, shame, and failure in order to properly teach or facilitate.

9.  Give yourself a ton of credit for running a business in the midst of all of this stuff! Meaning: bills, taxes, bookkeeping, managing a team, marketing, planning, doing, doing, doing. Often these tasks are not in your zone of genius in order to make a living at the only thing that you could possibly do.

Because, let’s face it, the minute you start thinking about working in the cat cafe, you smile, think, “Yes! That would be amazing!” and then come back to center and admit that you were designed to bring this very specific special medicine and contribution to the planet, so you jump back in and keep on swimming.

You are amazing!  Keep on swimming!

Inspired by the latest Light Warrior group call.  Join us at the next retreat!
Special thanks to Michelle Hawk for always being the one I call when this is coming up for me.

Join Me For The Healer’s Masterclass

What Does Channeling Do To You?

A lot of people think that channeling is interesting or neat and they want to learn how to do it.  Really anyone can channel, but it takes a committed person to deal with the stuff that often happens when you turn on this gift.

Greater care has to be taken to keep the body nurtured and running properly.  Running these types of energies can be extremely depleting and they shift the balances of the body greatly.

Self-awareness, commitment to authenticity and discernment all must be upgraded.

Practices for clearing, protection and integration can not be missed.

Some are called to channel beings that are so far form their original vibration that the upgrades are exhausting and time consuming.

Anything in your life that is not in alignment with these higher frequencies will have to be dealt with and it might even look like your whole world is blowing up.

You will be called to trust and surrender in ways that you have never before.

It’s no joke.

I have been fascinated by these processes for years.  Seeking to understand how we do these things and how we do them safely and sustainably.  The more people that I work with I realize that the super fast path that all of us want and many of us are on can be so destabilizing that without the proper processes and practices we can actually set ourselves back.

Often what got you to this point just doesn’t seem to help as much anymore.

When you see a channel doing their work it often seems effortless.  But, you rarely see or know about the path that it took to get there or what they have had to do to stabilize and support these processes so that they appear so effortless.

Just like seeing a master musician or artist we we see the same effortlessness, not often the years of hours upon hours of work.  I am sure there are a lot of prodigies in these works as in others, some people bring through only their higher self or beings that are easier on the system than others.

Sometimes the energies that we pull through make us feel so good that we mistakingly think that this is no big deal on this human body until we burn out the system.

I believe that a proper foundation is important and the information and awareness around what working with these realms can bring is vital.

I just don’t see anyone talking abut this, yet when people reach out to me who are struggling with integrating these energies even after years of spiritual or healing work I have to wonder, are we really being honest with each other and with ourselves as to what these awakenings and activations look like and do to us or are we all so interested in looking perfect and like we have just always had our shit together that we are giving each other the false impression that this is just no big deal?

I help people open and integrate their channel in a healthy way and then bring this new or previously hidden work to the world.  If you are interested, reach out.

Photo: Michael Ellsberg

Dating Your Energetics

What if you could date an angel? Create a solid partnership that will serve your life and work on this planet.

When we open our channel, we can become confused. The messages and energies can be streaming in all at once, and it is hard to sort things out. Add that to a crowded room of people and we can become overwhelmed and shut down.

When you feel that you have multiple energies, guides and angels that you are connecting with and you would like more clarity to sort out their meanings and messages I encourage you to treat this process like you are dating.

Your channel might feel like you are just sleeping around all over the place. While I see nothing wrong with having Polyamorous (love with multiple beings) relationships with your energetics, and you will have a council of guides available to you throughout your life, I encourage you to spend some time with focused dedication to each one.

Practice:

Decide to spend a week, a month or other period of time on a certain frequency or energy that you are feeling is coming in to you.

Build a separate altar in your space that is dedicated for this purpose.

Decorate that altar with the colors, stones and images that resonate with the being you are working with. These can be standard symbology associated with a particular angel for example but always use your guidance and intuition.

Sit with this energy on a daily basis.

Place your forehead on the ground and allow the gratitude for this being to well up in your heart.

Start a dialog with this being, always coming back to thankfulness and appreciation.

Treat it like a date. Pour two glasses of juice or tea that resonates with this energy, dress in lovely clothes in colors guided by the energy. Wear jewelry that feels connected to this frequency. Dance and allow the energy to move through you. Sing and allow the tones most loved by that energetic to flow through you. Write and allow the words to come through from this being. Draw images that you feel it would connect with. Treat it very much like a love relationships and the energy will be inspired to come more often and be more clear around its mission and purpose in your life and work.

It will give you a focused time to really feel this energetic so that you are aware in sessions or life when it is present and what that means. You won’t be distracted as much by other beings when you are focusing on this one. If there are images that resonate with this being, do a soft gaze open eye meditation in front of the image.

When your time is done, always honor the energy and tell it is is free to go but welcome to come back when needed.

At the end of the focused time, place some of your altar items in another place in the home and maintain a smaller area of honor for this being.

You have now solidified a relationship that will serve your life and work. The being will feel your gratitude, admiration and love which in turn will make the world a more joy filled, playful and loving place.

Image: RAPHAEL by Carlos Quevedo