Soul Contract


Dancing Feet

Spinning for a moment out of the trance state I’ve been occupying for days I see my feet.

They are dancing, moving of their own accord, cracked, bruised and bloodied.

Dust rises coating my parched throat.  Yet, still I sing on and on.

In and out of altered space I see the valley below me.  My land, my home.  How can tears still come?

I have danced and sang for days.  I am the one responsible.  I have to save my people by appeasing the gods, the spirits, the ones that have taught us and kept us in this valley for so long.

This is why I am.  To heal and help, to see into others and to vision for the people.

But, this time, despite my dedication to the ways I have learned, despite the lack of food, the dancing and singing until my throat was raw I have failed.

I have failed.

My people are doomed.

We will all die.

This vision I have had so many times.  I have wept and shook with the weight and power of this lifetime.  I have worked so hard to clear the pain and fear as it has sat inside my soul and body for so long.

In this moment, this one that I have visioned so many times, I created a contract.  I made a soul level contract to never sing again, never dance again.

By doing so, I would be safe and I could not risk this failure again.

In this life, I was born to a family that told me at an early age that I should not sing, that I was tone deaf and could not hold a note.  This was mild teasing not meant to hold weight, but my child mind took this in deeply.  It was perfect.  I perfect reinforcement of my soul contract.

I would not sing.  I mouthed the words in church and even singing Happy Birthday.

As a child I was also plagued from birth with throat infections.  They were constant.

As a teen in the theatre department, I tried to audition for the musical production.  Despite being an excellent actor I froze for the audition and couldn’t even sing a note.

Dance classes filled my with a quiet terror.

In my twenties, I could only dance when I was using substances and even then there was something that caused anxiety.

When I started opening my channel and healing myself, tones and songs started coming through.  It was intense.  And the visions began.

As I started to offer my healing circles and the work that I do now I would have an overwhelm of fear before hand.

It made no sense.  It was of the kind that felt like, “I will die if I do this”.  Very intense.

Yet, this was also my soul’s code.  I am a healer.  I remember doing this work in my tribes many, many times.  And in little houses outside of villages and in temple spaces.

I was diametrically opposed.  Knowing this was my work.  But, under contract to never do it again.

I had to heal it.

I started dancing.  I started singing.

I spent quite a few ecstatic dances on the floor crying the whole time.  My body actually in horrible stabbing pain (for no reason) and unable to dance at all.

Slowly I opened, I processed the pain and fear, I cleared, I saw amazing practitioners, I did practices, I allowed that this was true and that I could shift it.

And, as I did I gained access and knowledge from this lifetime and the others in which I had been punished for being magic.

And, I see this all of the time.  The magic people that I work with conflicted because they want to help, heal, do their soul’s work and yet there is a fear, a fear so powerful and strong, often of the ‘I am going to die’ nature that they keep getting stuck.

It is inside of the body causing pain and disease.  It is real on every level and has to be removed.

I tell this story despite my fear of being seen more deeply and of being judged.  Because I want you to know that it is possible that you are much more powerful than you have ever thought.  That maybe you were born to that normal family to help you not be magic because your soul has a fear that is so profound and it feels it must be protected.

And to give you the hope to explore, reach out, expand the possibility that you are magic and you just have to heal the pieces that are keeping you small.

I am offering my deepest journey with me over 6 months time.

I have developed a program that will give you one on one support to release that which has been holding you back, step into your power, learn practices and tools that will shift everything and have someone that has been there on your side.  6 Months, One on One, Lots of Bonuses, True Support and Mentorship.  Check out: Warrior, Healer, Lover Activation Training.

I support transformation.

Are you ready?

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