Journeying in my seat over the wing to Portland after two weeks in Maui. I was blessed to be hosted at a magical private retreat in the jungle.
As a business owner and one working both in person and on-line, I have been very busy walking the line of the urban Shaman. Holding space for others to heal, creating and sharing offerings of healing and teaching for groups and individuals, as well as, technologically navigating a new website creation, video production, and reaching out to connect with you via email and facebook. As most of us are, I often feel a bit over whelmed with all of the technological aspects of my work on top of my truest callings of healing and teaching.
I desire so greatly to serve and help you on your path of healing and awakening. I am also deeply committed to my continued healing, growth and self-care.
In packing for my trip I brought a laptop, camera, tripod, microphone, ipad, keyboard, phone, three books to read, journal, calendar, to do lists, photos to edit and voice memos to transcribe.
I had a plan to write newsletters, create content, make plans and decisions.
Yet, the moment I stepped foot on the land that I was to stay on it all went into the ocean. As I allowed my bare feet to step with reverence upon this sacred place I knew that I needed rest, release and connection.
These are the real gifts of life.
Meditation in a cave over the ocean, dancing in tide pools, eating fresh from the garden, sleeping, breathing consciously, moving with care, listening, watching whales, delighting in beauty of rain and sun, spiders and geckos.
The less I did, the more I felt whole.
I allowed the place to work it’s magic upon me, to invite me in and allow me to be a part of this powerful Nature and commune with her spirits.
Honoring the ancestors of this land and each inhabitant I became more in tune, less frazzled, easier and lighter.
I was able to teach and offer healings from a greater space of wholeness and grace. Power flowed freely and fed me deeply.
My gratitude was constant.
And, I realize that the more I rest, the more I release, the more I allow myself to nurture, heal and do my own work, the more I serve you. The better I am able to hold space and be there for you.
And yet, I can recall a time when I would feel very guilty for this time and space I was offering myself. I had a hard time with self-care because I saw it as selfish.
Recently, I was in consideration of mastery. When I thought of those that I consider masters, I was little shocked to notice my initial prejudice was that there was a level of selfishness there. In order to have mastery we need to spend time working on ourselves and our craft above all others.
In order to become masters at simply being ourselves, we must commit to our process. It is absolutely unique for each person and will shift and change if we allow it.
Are you able to fully allow yourself to take care of yourself? Can you offer yourself pure loyalty?
I find that this is very difficult for many people I work with. Taking time for practice, movement, meditation, eating properly make us all feel better, yet so many struggle with this.
We do deserve to feel good, breathe deeply, release tension, stretch, learn, heal and grow. Yet, we block this daily and find ourselves years later in a state of disease and collapse.
In the long term, I will never kick myself for not releasing more newsletters in February of 2015. But, I will always remember the taste of fresh papaya eaten with pure mindfulness and the childlike excitement of seeing a whale jump from the water.
Commitment to self allows commitment to others.